Books with title The Worst Witch

The Wonky Witch is the exciting tale of a young witch, Maude Sinks, during her first year at the prestigious wizard school, Abracadabra Academy. Maude is always messing things up, and she is scared that she will continue to be a screw-up at her new school. In classes, she is constantly falling off of her broom, making the wrong potion, and tripping over her robes. While becoming friends with a boy in her class, Adair, Maude stumbles upon an evil plot. In order to keep this creepy event from happening, Maude and Adair break a bunch of school rules, steal a paper, work in the mailroom, deal with a group of crazy older wizards, and eat Eyeball ice treats. With potions bubbling and spells flying, will ten year-old Maude save the day or still be a screw-up?

"A Sweet Valley Twins Evil Parody"Did you read, and have a love-hate relationship with, Sweet Valley books in the mid-80s to late 90s? Do you also have an affinity for fantasy and horror? Then this parody is for you. All the kids at Saccharin Valley Middle School say the Morrison mansion is haunted. So when Fallon Morrison moves into the crumbling Victorian house, the rumors spread fast. Jessica Wastefeld and her friends are convinced that the new girl is a witch.But Jessica’s identical twin sister, Elizabeth, is sure that Fallon is just an ordinary girl. She’s determined to stick up for her new friend. Fallon has her own agenda, especially when Jessica and her friends start being mean to her. Is Fallon really a witch? Well, duh.The Witch is a "horror-parody" of books I used to read obsessively as a child and later realized are awful. The Witch combines elements of satire and horror, and is kind of meta. If it sounds familiar, it's inspired by the third book in the actual series, but I took its premise and twisted it beyond recognition, because the original plot really annoyed me. Added original characters (whom you’ll have met in Book One).More books in my fake series to come.The original series were aimed at preteen girls, and this book is based on the particular series where the twins are young enough to encounter supernatural events (many of their “Super Chillers” were ghost stories). So while there’s no blatant sexuality or violence, and it follows the rules of the original series, it might be better appreciated by someone 13 or older (especially women in their 30s). There’s definitely some dark humor, and “magical” violence.

Example in this ebookCHAPTER ITHE QUEEN’S CHAMBERIt was said that the Queen was dying. She lay at Richmond, in the palace looking out upon the wintry, wooded, March-shaken park, but London, a few miles away, had daily news of how she did. There was much talk about her—the old Queen—much telling of stories and harking back. She had had a long reign—“Not far from fifty years, my masters!”—and in it many important things had happened. The crowd in the streets, the barge and wherry folk upon the wind-ruffled river, the roisterers in the taverns drinking ale or sack, merchants and citizens in general talking of the times in the intervals of business, old soldiers and seamen ashore, all manner of folk, indeed, agreed upon the one most important thing. The most important thing had been the scattering of the Armada fifteen years before. That disposed of, opinions differed as to the next most important. The old soldiers were for all fighting wherever it had occurred. The seamen and returned adventurers threw for the voyages of Drake and Frobisher and Gilbert and Raleigh. With these were inclined to agree the great merchants and guild-masters who were venturing in the East India and other joint-stock companies. The little merchant and guild fellows agreed with the great. A very large number of all classes claimed for the overthrow of Popery the first place. On the other hand, a considerable number either a little hurriedly slurred this, or else somewhat too anxiously and earnestly supported the assertion. One circle, all churchmen, lauded the Act of Uniformity, and the pains and penalties provided alike for Popish recusant and non-conforming Protestant. Another circle, men of a serious cast of countenance and of a growing simplicity in dress, left the Act of Uniformity in obscurity, and after the deliverance from the Pope, made the important happening the support given the Protestant principle in France and the Netherlands. A few extreme loyalists put in a claim for the number of conspiracies unearthed and trampled into nothingness—Scottish conspiracies, Irish conspiracies, Spanish conspiracies, Westmoreland and Northumberland conspiracies, Throgmorton conspiracies—the death of the Queen of Scots, the death, two years ago, of Essex.All agreed that the Queen had had a stirring reign—all but the latter end of it. The last few years—despite Irish affairs—had been dull and settled, a kind of ditch-water stagnation, a kind of going downhill. Fifty years, almost, was a long time for one person to reign....On a time the Queen had been an idol and a cynosure—for years the love of a people had been warm about her. It had been a people struggling to become a nation, beset with foreign foes and inner dissensions, battling for a part in new worlds and realms. She had led the people well, ruled well, come out with them into the Promised Land. And now there was a very human dissatisfaction with the Promised Land, for the streams did not run milk and honey nor were the sands golden. As humanly, the dissatisfaction involved the old Queen. She could not have been, after all, the Queen that they had thought her.... After crying for so many years “Long live Queen Elizabeth!” there would come creeping into mind a desire for novelty. King James,—King James! The words sounded well, and promised, perhaps, the true Golden Age. But they were said, of course, under breath. The Queen was not dead yet.To be continue in this ebook...

Mildred Hubble, the worst student at Miss Cackle’s Academy for Witches, returns in a new escapade for young magic lovers.Lovable but accident-prone Mildred Hubble is possibly the worst witch ever to go to Miss Cackle’s Academy for Witches. She always tries her best, but her spells never seem to go right. In her latest adventure, Mildred is set up for disaster by her arch-nemesis, Ethel Hallow. Ethel steals Mildred’s summer project and her enchanted tortoise, Einstein, and Mildred must brave a broomstick flight through a violent thunderstorm to rescue him. But will she ever get back into Miss Hardbroom’s good graces? Since 1974, millions of readers have enjoyed Mildred’s exploits, and now she’s back to cast her spell on a new generation of readers.

It was said that the Queen was dying. She lay at Richmond, in the palace looking out upon the wintry, wooded, March-shaken park, but London, a few miles away, had daily news of how she did. There was much talk about her—the old Queen—much telling of stories and harking back. She had had a long reign—“Not far from fifty years, my masters!”—and in it many important things had happened. The crowd in the streets, the barge and wherry folk upon the wind-ruffled river, the roisterers in the taverns drinking ale or sack, merchants and citizens in general talking of the times in the intervals of business, old soldiers and seamen ashore, all manner of folk, indeed, agreed upon the one most important thing. The most important thing had been the scattering of the Armada fifteen years before. That disposed of, opinions differed as to the next most important. The old soldiers were for all fighting wherever it had occurred. The seamen and returned adventurers threw for the voyages of Drake and Frobisher and Gilbert and Raleigh. With these were inclined to agree the great merchants and guild-masters who were venturing in the East India and other joint-stock companies. The little merchant and guild fellows agreed with the great. A very large number of all classes claimed for the overthrow of Popery the first place. On the other hand, a considerable number either a little hurriedly slurred this, or else somewhat too anxiously and earnestly supported the assertion. One circle, all churchmen, lauded the Act of Uniformity, and the pains and penalties provided alike for Popish recusant and non-conforming Protestant. Another circle, men of a serious cast of countenance and of a growing simplicity in dress, left the Act of Uniformity in obscurity, and after the deliverance from the Pope, made the important happening the support given the Protestant principle in France and the Netherlands. A few extreme loyalists put in a claim for the number of conspiracies unearthed and trampled into nothingness—Scottish conspiracies, Irish conspiracies, Spanish conspiracies, Westmoreland and Northumberland conspiracies, Throgmorton conspiracies—the death of the Queen of Scots, the death, two years ago, of Essex.